I have spent a lot of time sitting and thinking. Realizing that I can not do this all on my own and figured out that talking things out really helps me. I think my hormones are starting to balance and I am slowly coming back to being just me.
I had a hard time being so blatantly honest in my last post. I felt very ashamed and nervous to release all of that information out into the world. (Even though I know I have an audience of one...  :) )

Admitting that something isn't quite right is hard, let alone admitting that you need help. I have told my parents. Iwas nervous that they would somehow think that this is their fault or take the blame in any form. But I do feel its important as part of my heeling to be able to share this with them. Still not sure if I want to share it with my in-laws though. (Don't get me wrong, I love and care about them, but I am nervous about how it will reflect on me.) I hate the stigma that goes with having PPD or anxiety or any other mental illness.

Ever since getting pregnant I have had to let go of my practice and what I thought it was. I had to rethink what it is to practice completely within your own body and not let others influence you, while in the room and in every day activities. I should be embracing my body, loving every new curve. Exploring the new openness of my hips and taking note of the new limitations of my hamstrings. Starting over in some postures while advancing in others. So what if my clothes do not fit the way they used to. I have a beautiful daughter in replace of my abs. Abs I can get again with hard work and dedication, but there is only one beautiful little girl staring up at me and smiling.

I should also be embracing my mind with the same love and affection. I have been ignoring the importance of positive thinking and  building up the strength of my mind again. It sure did take a toll there for a while but I think its coming back.

My current goal is to work on the inner me. Make 'me' a priority. Change every single negative thought into a positive and its time to finally start practicing what I preach! Embrace this exact moment. Forgot anything and everything else. For in this moment, there is nothing else.