Pregnancies - are not all the same

It has been two months since the birth of our second child. Two and half years since the birth of our first child. The two experiences couldn't have been more different. Yes similarities for sure, but the way I felt inside, the way I experienced the mental side of the pregnancies were 100% different.

I was at work, teaching yoga and felt the only way to describe how I was feeling was to use the nauseous. Without thinking, I said this to my co-worker (a beautiful early 20 something University student) who quickly replied "You're pregnant'. I stopped dead in my tracks, what was the date. Did I miss my period? Is it possible, after months and months of trying and not trying...Did it finally happen!!?!? Fast forward to making Baby number 2 attempt one. BOOM the next morning woke up feeling 'nauseous'. It happened that fast and I knew right away!

I felt great for both of my pregnancies. With of course your standard morning sickness, food aversions and your constant need to pee, it was all good (I had gestational diabetes for the second pregnancy, food controlled insulin levels until the last two weeks). The big differences occurred for me inside. How I felt about my changing body, how I viewed the changes to my life that were going to happen, and the level of confidence I had in my ability to be a mom.

With my first child, Ella, I was confident that I had the intelligence to keep the kid alive and loved, but to be able to produce an intelligent, well rounded individual is what kept me up at night. They say how much all of this is determined within the first few years, if not months of life. That is a lot of stress!!

With my second child, Dylan, I felt completely competent. I rarely have questions, and when I do, my husband will normally be able to help. This level of confidence I strongly believe has come from two straight years of crying, cooing and an incredible number of diaper changes. I have learned that no matter how 'prepared' you feel for your first child, experience is the only thing that will give you confidence to listen to your inner Mom. That instinct we so quickly dismiss. These I believe are the teachings we have learned from watching other moms, our own included, from babysitting, observing and learning always. Subconsciously or consciously...doesn't matter. A wealth of knowledge is inside ourselves.

I didn't realize how big this was until my husband and I were chatting and he confessed to being jealous. He said, I could hear a cry from a 100 miles away and know exactly what our child needed. He said I had this strange ability that he just couldn't understand. Intuition is deep within us. This maternal instinct is beautiful and should be valued above anything else. Trust in yourself and remember to be true to your values.

I lost all of values and confidence at some point after the birth of our first child. Ella meant the world to me and I felt like things didn't add up. How could I be so lucky!? She was perfect...I didn't feel worthy.

I have one picture of myself doing yoga while pregnant with my first child, simply because I was less then weeks along at this point, and didn't know yet!  Soon after I was so uncomfortable with the changes to my body that I avoided pictures. I have a few, not many.

With my second child Dylan, I felt beautiful. Strong and capable. I couldn't wait to do a photoshoot with my growing family and growing belly.

We had a ton of fun at the shoot.


I am so very lucky to have a family that enjoy doing yoga as much as I do. Well, Ella currently loves doing some poses from time to time, but my husband loves it.

Next post will be about labour and how yoga philosophies helped.